Should We Postpone our April / May Wedding?
This is the question that is on everyone’s lips, “should we postpone our April / May Wedding?”. These are just some of the questions, emails, messages that we receive daily, if you are planning a Spring 2021 wedding, I am sure these questions have even gone through your head;
“As you can imagine, we are looking at the situation with Covid-19 and thinking that the likelihood of having a celebration for over 100 people in April is looking very slim”
“It still looks really uncertain for April at the minute, we are hoping that it will go up to 30 but who knows. I realise it is highly unlikely, but if we needed to postpone the wedding, when would the next available dates be?”
“Can we talk through how we might scale back the tipis if we chose to go ahead with restrictions rather than push back again”
We fully understand how hard this is for everyone involved. The truth is we do not know any more about April weddings now at the end of January than we did back in December. It is quite likely we won’t know anything until late into March either.
I address this in this short video here, with some practical advice. Have a watch;
The Frustration of Not Knowing
As we head into February the frustration of not knowing is simply growing. We are all clinging on for the new guidelines so we can understand how best to move forward. But with no sign of these, how are we going to be able to move forward?
We Can Only Control What We Can Control
I have heard that said so much over the last 10 months, and it is so very true. The only real thing that we can control is how we deal with this situation – that in itself is challenging enough I know!
One thing I do not do is watch the news. I’m not watching the news in hope of good news because the news never gives us good news. It never delivers what we really want it to give us. So, my advice is, if you consume a lot of news, stop. Stop for your own sanity and mental health.
Advice to Help Reach a Decision
I have had lots of conversations with couples about their April and May weddings and what is a regular theme is they’ve stopped talking about it. I guess by not talking about it you are not having to make a decision. However, every virtual coffee meeting I have had with our couples, in their heart of hearts they do know what they want to do and actually talking to a third person has helped them to get clearer on it. Interestingly most couples DO still want to get married. Life almost feels like it is on hold, other plans such as moving house or even starting or extending the family seem to be on pause. Although life does feel like it is on pause, this really is time we are never getting back. So maybe we have to hit the play button again.
If this is how you are feeling, GET MARRIED, let’s not lose sight of why you are doing this. Yes, this might only be with 6, 15, 30 guests who knows, but if you are feeling like life is on hold, hit that play button and get married.
That is one of the decisions for you to make and let’s bring it back to control too, this is something that you can control.
So if you choose to still do the legal marriage what should you do about the rest of the wedding you had planned? My advice is push it back, postpone it. The way you want to celebrate the two of you coming together hasn’t changed, all that has changed is when this can happen.
How do we move forward?
How long you wait until making a decision is completely in your hands. This comes down to how long you are happy to sit and wait it out for. My advice is to put a date in the diary as close to your wedding date as you feel comfortable with, this might be 6 weeks, 4 weeks or even 2 weeks. There are a few factors I am sure you will want to take into consideration when deciding on when this date will be; such as can I get my dress, have I got my dress, have we got suits, are suppliers asking for a cut-off point so that they can plan food, flowers etc.
When you reach your decision date, you are naturally at a crossroads when you will have to make a choice.
Questions to then ask yourself
What are the guidelines are at that point. Have they been released?
Do the guidelines even allow us to make a decision? If they do not then it is time to make a plan B (which I know for some couples is a plan C and even D) of postponing your wedding.
If however, the guidelines in place allow you to have your wedding but not the way you had intended, again you have to decide:
Do we want to compromise and have a smaller wedding based on the guidelines OR does the number not hit the mark at which we had decided we could go ahead with? If it doesn’t then postpone.
Do the numbers allow us to get married with our closest family and friends but not hit the mark for the celebration we had planned? If getting married is important because life feels like it is on pause, go for the marriage service and then push back the party celebration to a date later in the year or 2022 (or your anniversary party).
Follow our guide to help you process this. To do this two things are important;
- DO YOU KNOW YOUR NUMBERS? (watch this if you need help)
- HAVE YOU GOT A FUTURE CUT OFF DATE
When Should We Make A Decision By?
I know you will also be panicking about the availability of dates for later in the year and into 2022. Speaking with other suppliers, we all have pockets of availability later this year and plenty of availability for 2022. Our diary changes daily with couples pushing back and new couples booking in for this year still – so what any suppliers diary looks like today will be different next week. A date that wasn’t available may become available next week.
If you do have to make the decision to postpone your Spring 2021 wedding, my advice is to talk to all of your suppliers, find the available dates from your venue/structure supplier then work down the list to see which of those dates your other suppliers could make. TIP, if you would consider a Friday or Sunday wedding you might find it easier to get all of your suppliers lined up again. In an ideal world, we’d positively encourage you to move all of your suppliers forward with you. As a Tipi/Sailcloth supplier having a Friday, Saturday or Sunday wedding doesn’t make a difference to us, it only affects us in the planning of logistics of what day we will set up and take down for you.
Take some time now to consider what your date is for making that decision, your stopgap. Particularly, those that are getting married April, May. How long are you willing to sit tight and wait before taking action? Keep having conversations with your suppliers. Right now, we don’t know any more, so try not to overthink it either, because it would just consume you. Have your guest lists of 15, 30, 50, 80, 80+ ready in your back pocket. And also now consider, “How long am I happy to wait until making any firm plans on how to move forward? And if we stick with it, if we can, or if we have to move to a plan B, C, D with a potential new date.”
Anyway, let’s remain positive. Big love to you all.
Tips, and ideas for planning your own outdoor celebration;